Eating MANners

Here are some more MANners for you gentlemen to "chew on."  Not everyone has liked my suggestions so far, yet they don't seem to give a lot of reasons why in the comments.  Tell us why you think these are off-base.

• Never talk when there is food in your mouth.
• Avoid chewing your food with your mouth open.
• Sit up straight in your chair.
• At formal meals, stand whenever a lady sits or gets up from table.
• Learn place settings. It is not that hard!
• Simply use utensils in order as the meal is served.
• Place your napkin on your lap.
• Cut meat with your knife in your right hand and fork in left. Then transfer utensils to take a bite. (Reverse if left-handed.) There is some variance of opinion on whether or not one should cut all the meat at once and then eat, or cut one piece at a time.
• Never use your fingers to push food onto your fork. That is what your knife is for.
• Do not eat until the host has picked up her utensil. Also, do not begin to eat until you have been passed all of the food. Wait until everyone is served before eating.
• Eat slowly and don't gobble up the food. Someone took a long time to prepare the food, enjoy it slowly. Slowly means to wait about 5 seconds after swallowing before getting another forkful.
• When eating rolls, tear off a piece of bread before buttering. Do not cut your roll with your knife but break in pieces with your hands.
• Don’t clear the dishes off the table until everyone has finished eating.
• Don’t start eating your dessert until the hostess sits down and begins hers. This may mean you have to sit looking at an incredible piece of dessert for some time. Deal with this. :-)

Talking and Church MANners

Well, this may cause a storm of controversy. Here is what I suggested for MANners in church and in your normal talking to one another.


Talking
• Avoid talking longer than the person(s) you are talking to.
• Ask questions of others before launching out on a long description about you.
• Look the one you talk to in the eye, but glance away occasionally to break eye contact. The listener is expected to maintain eye contact and not glance away.
• Avoid the use of words like, suck, fart, crap, bull, pissed off, and other objectionable terms
• Never interrupt, but if you do, ask permission as you do it.
• Seek to use names often in conversation, especially with new acquaintances. Individuals more than ten years older than you should be addressed with Mr. or Mrs. and only altered by invitation.
• Say, "Please" and "Thank you" often. It shows respect and appreciation. In addition, if they are thanked, then say, "You're welcome".


Church manners
• Do not enter or exit the auditorium when the Bible is being read or prayer made.
• Offer your seat to a lady if there are no other seats available
• If two or more folks are talking together, wait to be invited in to the conversation. If you are standing to the side for more than 30 seconds without an invitation, this is a good clue that you not desired in the conversation.
• Go to new people and introduce yourself. Ask where they are from and seek out any ways to serve them.
• Sit in places where most folks don’t like to
• When you meet someone new be sure to introduce them to at least one or two others by name.

Dress MANners

So, we had a great time thinking through those manners that are particularly necessary for men living in Toronto in 2009.

I began our time by listing some benefits for having and using MANners (some a little tongue-in-cheek).

You should use good manners for these reasons:

• You will offend less people.
• Women will find you more attractive if you are single.
• Married women will not be so disgusted at you.
• You will likely appear smarter than you really are and that may get you a raise.
• It is a way to love others.
• You will likely gain more opportunities for the Gospel.

The we looked at some manners for dress.

Dress

• Dress suitable for the occasion. Funerals and weddings generally require jacket and tie. Your 1993 high school jacket is probably due for retirement.
• Avoid wearing objectionable images on your clothing
• Do not expose your underwear. The only one who finds your underwear-exposure or “plumber-butt” sexy is you. And that is disgusting.
• Unless planning on completing some manual labour, why not dress like you would for a casual date with your lady.

What do you think?  Are we on the right track?

MANners: What Men Do at GFC.

Tonight will likely be the most fun Men’s Meeting we have had since, well, last month. We are devoting the year to the idea of Stewardship – How Men Should Wisely Use What God Has Given Them.

The first night was the easy one. We talked about money. The Bible has a lot to say about that and I will maybe post some of our notes from the meeting. More than listing Bible verses, we are trying to make things really practical.

Tonight we get to talk about MANners. Etiquette for men. You heard me. No more slobs. Manners don’t sanctify, but they may be the fruit of sanctification. We have a few things planned to make this an interesting night. I will post more later…

The Father's Whistle

My friend Michael Haykin is a poet. He writes things that you have to think really carefully about to understand.
I, on the other hand, sometimes find myself saying sentences with last words that rhyme. And for some reason I post them here once in a while. The example below is simply what popped into my head at the end of last Sunday morning’s sermon on Zechariah 10 and 11. I am never sure what to do with these little rhymes (most of which I write out and ignore) but the imagery of that passage was so unique I thought it a helpful way to pull together some of the big themes.
Anyway, here it is for free. I hope in some little way it points you to Jesus.

Behold the flock whipped along to what is certain slaughter
Behold the Father whistling clear for every son and daughter
Is it your name the Shepherd calls and invites to endless bliss?
Turn from the flock doomed to death, to heaven from the abyss.

He’s made a way for you to come, the price: his own Son’s blood
And all who venture faith on Him are met by mercy’s flood
Those worthless shepherds will yell and clutch and try to prove they own you
Just trust the Saviour, friend, and come; He never will disown you.

The Leafs Won Last Night

Let the dynasty begin.

For Some Parents, Shouting Is the New Spanking - NYTimes.com

For Some Parents, Shouting Is the New Spanking - NYTimes.com:

"Many in today’s pregnancy-flaunting, soccer-cheering, organic-snack-proffering generation of parents would never spank their children. We congratulate our toddlers for blowing their nose (“Good job!”), we friend our teenagers (literally and virtually), we spend hours teaching our elementary-school offspring how to understand their feelings. But, incongruously and with regularity, this is a generation that yells."

And that is no surprise. When toddlers control the home and parents resort to threatening, repeating and attempting to reason with an unreasonable mind - they will more than likely lose it.

And yelling at your child is a far worse offense than any form of Biblical discipline. Even our own poets figured that one out when they coined the attempted rebuttal:

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But names will never hurt me.

Which, of course, is an utter lie. Any guy who has been beat up at school will tell you that pummelling was easier to forget than what some girl called him one day. That is not any kind of endorsement of physical abuse, by the way. Just noting the fact that verbal abuse really does damage and a parent screaming at her kids is verbal abuse.

How much better to lovingly set clear boundaries with clear results for disobedience, then keep them. Of course, only Christian parents really get this becuase only Christian parents see their duty as shepherding a heart toward God, rather than creating trophies... or tragedies.

On the Full Stretch

George Whitefield died in his 56th year. Only a few week before that transfer to heaven, he wrote the following to Charles Wesley back in England.

“O to be found on the full stretch for Him who was stretched for us!”

Red-nosed circus billionaire returns to Earth | U.S. | Reuters

Only in Canada...

Red-nosed circus billionaire returns to Earth | U.S. | Reuters:

"KOROLYOV, Russia (Reuters) - Canadian circus billionaire Guy Laliberte returned to Earth on Sunday wearing his trademark clown's red nose, landing as planned in Kazakhstan after a landmark space performance to highlight water scarcity.

A Russian Soyuz space capsule carrying Laliberte and a Russian-American crew touched down in the vast steppe near Arkalyk in northern Kazakhstan at 8:31 a.m. Moscow time (12:31 p.m. EDT)."

Josephus, Antiquities of the Jews: A Description of How Alexander the Great Was Halted from Destroying Jerusalem

Flavius Josephus, Antiquities of the Jews (ed. William Whiston, A.M.):

Although this bit of history is disputed by some, it is a rather remarkable description of what might have taken place. That Jerusalem was strangely spared in Alexander's march is indisputable - only God knows how that took place.

"So Alexander came into Syria, and took Damascus; and when he had obtained Sidon, he besieged Tyre, when he sent all epistle to the Jewish high priest, to send him some auxiliaries, and to supply his army with provisions; and that what presents he formerly sent to Darius, he would now send to him, and choose the friendship of the Macedonians, and that he should never repent of so doing. But the high priest answered the messengers, that he had given his oath to Darius not to bear arms against him; and he said that he would not transgress this while Darius was in the land of the living. Upon hearing this answer, Alexander was very angry; and though he determined not to leave Tyre, which was just ready to be taken, yet as soon as he had taken it, he threatened that he would make an expedition against the Jewish high priest, and through him teach all men to whom they must keep their oaths. So when he had, with a good deal of pains during the siege, taken Tyre, and had settled its affairs, he came to the city of Gaza, and besieged both the city and him that was governor of the garrison, whose name was Babemeses.

[321] ...Now Alexander, when he had taken Gaza, made haste to go up to Jerusalem; and Jaddua the high priest, when he heard that, was in an agony, and under terror, as not knowing how he should meet the Macedonians, since the king was displeased at his foregoing disobedience. He therefore ordained that the people should make supplications, and should join with him in offering sacrifice to God, whom he besought to protect that nation, and to deliver them from the perils that were coming upon them; whereupon God warned him in a dream, which came upon him after he had offered sacrifice, that he should take courage, and adorn the city, and open the gates; that the rest should appear in white garments, but that he and the priests should meet the king in the habits proper to their order, without the dread of any ill consequences, which the providence of God would prevent. Upon which, when he rose from his sleep, he greatly rejoiced, and declared to all the warning he had received from God. According to which dream he acted entirely, and so waited for the coming of the king.

[329] And when he understood that he was not far from the city, he went out in procession, with the priests and the multitude of the citizens. The procession was venerable, and the manner of it different from that of other nations. It reached to a place called Sapha, which name, translated into Greek, signifies a prospect, for you have thence a prospect both of Jerusalem and of the temple. And when the Phoenicians and the Chaldeans that followed him thought they should have liberty to plunder the city, and torment the high priest to death, which the king's displeasure fairly promised them, the very reverse of it happened; for Alexander, when he saw the multitude at a distance, in white garments, while the priests stood clothed with fine linen, and the high priest in purple and scarlet clothing, with his mitre on his head, having the golden plate whereon the name of God was engraved, he approached by himself, and adored that name, and first saluted the high priest. The Jews also did all together, with one voice, salute Alexander, and encompass him about; whereupon the kings of Syria and the rest were surprised at what Alexander had done, and supposed him disordered in his mind. However, Parmenio alone went up to him, and asked him how it came to pass that, when all others adored him, he should adore the high priest of the Jews? To whom he replied, 'I did not adore him, but that God who hath honored him with his high priesthood; for I saw this very person in a dream, in this very habit, when I was at Dios in Macedonia, who, when I was considering with myself how I might obtain the dominion of Asia, exhorted me to make no delay, but boldly to pass over the sea thither, for that he would conduct my army, and would give me the dominion over the Persians; whence it is that, having seen no other in that habit, and now seeing this person in it, and remembering that vision, and the exhortation which I had in my dream, I believe that I bring this army under the Divine conduct, and shall therewith conquer Darius, and destroy the power of the Persians, and that all things will succeed according to what is in my own mind.' And when he had said this to Parmenio, and had given the high priest his right hand, the priests ran along by him, and he came into the city. And when he went up into the temple, he offered sacrifice to God, according to the high priest's direction, and magnificently treated both the high priest and the priests. And when the Book of Daniel was showed him 1 wherein Daniel declared that one of the Greeks should destroy the empire of the Persians, he supposed that himself was the person intended. And as he was then glad, he dismissed the multitude for the present; but the next day he called them to him, and bid them ask what favors they pleased of him; whereupon the high priest desired that they might enjoy the laws of their forefathers, and might pay no tribute on the seventh year. He granted all they desired. And when they entreared him that he would permit the Jews in Babylon and Media to enjoy their own laws also, he willingly promised to do hereafter what they desired. And when he said to the multitude, that if any of them would enlist themselves in his army, on this condition, that they should continue under the laws of their forefathers, and live according to them, he was willing to take them with him, many were ready to accompany him in his wars."